Open All Hours

Stuttering shopkeeper Albert Arkwright, assisted by his much put-upon nephew Granville, runs the corner shop in a Doncaster suburb, boasting that it's open all hours. When not pursuing Gladys Emmanuel, the district nurse who lives opposite the shop, Arkwright is ever on the lookout to save money, such as buying a load of fire-damaged tinned food. Unfortunately, the damage means that all the labels have come off so nobody knows exactly what they're meant to be buying.

Fed up with having to do deliveries in all weathers on his bike, Granville suggests Arkwright invest in a van. Needless to say, his uncle balks at the expense until Granville points out that it could be a mattress on wheels, a means of impressing Nurse Gladys. Arkwright buys a secondhand one and Granville wishes he hadn't when he takes it out on the road.

Arkwright feels that Nurse Gladys has been neglecting him and, in order to get her undivided attention, he must come down with a 'disease', nothing too serious, just something that'll have her lavishing attention on him. She sees through the ruse and is ready to beat him at his own game.